A Sad Realization

Untouchable
you’re so close—too close sometimes
yet unreachable.
I can’t have the only desire
my entire body resonates.

I throw up my arms
realizing all too well,
nothing to be done.
The answers have been laid
out on the table. No mistakes.

I want to get out.
I can’t get out.
I need to get out.
I’m trapped in the bindings of myself,
a prison of self-fulfilling prophesies
lives and broken promises
I’ve made to myself.

A sad realization
the only one who can hurt me
is me—a privilege I indulge
far too often.
how can I inflict pain so willingly?
Why don’t I get out before I’m
left with a shattered identity?